


Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

by joeyjames (lilyandjoey)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Lovers, M/M, Mistrust, Night-time wonderings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-02
Updated: 2008-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-15 20:24:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyandjoey/pseuds/joeyjames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius has always kept anti-social hours. Remus doesn't really mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Team Post-Hogwarts for the [](http://community.livejournal.com/rs_games/profile)[**rs_games**](http://community.livejournal.com/rs_games/).
> 
>  **Prompt:** "It's the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter." (Marlene Dietrich)

  
1

Remus Lupin is woken by the insistent whispering of a familiar voice. He opens his eyes and looks blearily up into the face of Sirius Black. Once Sirius is satisfied that he has attracted his friend's attention he talks rapidly in a hushed voice. Remus is only dimly aware of this. Something isn't quite right and he can't place his finger on what, until it occurs to him that Sirius is fully dressed. And this isn't their dorm at Hogwarts. They left school six months ago.

"How the Hell did you get in here?" Remus says, cutting Sirius off mid-sentence.

Sirius looks irritated at being interrupted.

"There was a window open downstairs. Have you been listening to a word I've said?"

"You climbed through the window at ..." Remus peered at the clock on his bedside table, "... quarter to four in the morning."

"No," Sirius says, "a cute little dog jumped through your window. As I was saying, I've got this idea for ..."

Remus nods in the appropriate places and tries not to smile. It's so unbelievably Sirius. He had thought things would be more peaceful at his parent's house than they were at school; that he wouldn't be woken in the night by his classmates with ridiculous stories that apparently couldn't wait until morning.

  
2

When he is awoken in the middle of the night by Sirius' urgent whisperings for what he calculates must be the seventeenth time in six months, Remus' first thought is that his parents really ought to check that they've shut all the windows before going to bed. His next thought is that Sirius seems a lot less cheerful than usual.

"What's wrong?" Remus asks abruptly.

Sirius runs his hand through his hair and looks awkward but irritated.

"It's all Voldemort's fault!" Sirius exclaims in a slightly irrational fashion.

Remus pauses for a moment. Sirius is wide-eyed and dishevelled. He is usually well-groomed and poised, even in the middle of the night. Remus has often been irritated by Sirius' innate ability to appear immaculate at all times, when he tends to look like he's been living in a hedge even when he makes an effort. It's disconcerting seeing Sirius so shaken up.

"Sirius," he says carefully, "what happened?"

"James asked Evans to marry him," Sirius replies in a sulky voice.

Remus was a little surprised, but he had seen it coming. Apparently Sirius had not.

"And everyone's favourite evil wizard is to blame," Remus says, trying hard not to laugh.

"Yes," Sirius says a little too loud, "if there wasn't a war coming James wouldn't have asked her for years and years and we could have lived in our flat for ages and everything would be so much better!"

Remus wonders whether Sirius is aware of how petulant he sounds.

"Remus?"

Remus looks up at Sirius. It would seem that Sirius has just noticed his surroundings.

"Why are your things boxed up?" Sirius asks; confusion evident in his voice.

"I'm looking for somewhere to live," Remus responds, as if that is explanation enough.

"Why? Have -- have your parents asked you to leave?" Sirius asks carefully.

"No," Remus says with a sigh, "but it's awkward. They haven't said anything, but my furry little problem is making their lives difficult. When I was little they chained me in a kennel and gave me dog toys to play with and that was enough. But, you know what it's been like the last few years. And they've only had to deal with it a couple of times during school holidays. I want to leave _before_ they ask."

"That's brilliant!" Sirius says excitedly.

"How?" Remus asks incredulously.

"James is moving out, and you're moving in!" Sirius exclaims.

Remus smiles, his first genuine smile in weeks. He's glad Sirius likes to drop in at ungodly hours.

  
3

"It's cold," Sirius grumbles as he leans sleepily in the doorway of Remus' little room in their shared flat.

"Hmm," Remus responds helpfully.

Sirius chooses to interpret this as an invitation. He stumbles across the floor and slips clumsily into the bed next to Remus. Remus shifts over to make room and goes back to sleep.

Remus wakes early the next morning, unbearably hot. His blankets lie discarded on the floor and he finds that the heat source is Sirius. He smiles sleepily and decides that he will have to get up. It's quite uncomfortable with two young men in his single bed. He attempts to get out of the bed without waking Sirius, but it is easier said than done. Remus is between Sirius and the wall. And their limbs have become entwined at some point during the night. Remus shifts carefully, but Sirius is heavy and when Remus applies a little extra force the two of them land with a thump on the bedroom floor.

Sirius looks so surprised and bewildered that Remus can't stop laughing. Hours afterwards he breaks into a grin at the memory of it.

  
4

Remus wakes to the sound of Sirius coming home. He squints at the clock and is surprised to note that it is past four in the morning. He shifts a little in bed and waits. Sirius must have been on a mission. They've been trying to give each other a bit of space, not pry too much. It's better if they don't let personal relationships get in the way. That they don't know too much about each other's assignments.

It's a full five minutes before Sirius starts to move down the corridor to Remus' room. Remus is a little confused, because Sirius usually tries to sneak in quietly as soon as he's home, leaving a trail of clothing in his wake and crawling in beside Remus. When Sirius appears in the doorway, barely able to stand, Remus leaps out of bed.

Sirius is drenched in blood.

Remus wordlessly helps him to the bathroom and starts the shower. Sirius stands there, swaying slightly, while Remus gently removes his clothes and drops them in a pile on the floor. He manoeuvres Sirius into the shower and stands in there with him, not caring that his night clothes are getting wet. He washes Sirius carefully and tries not to look at the blood swirling round the plughole. Once he is certain that the blood was not Sirius' and that he is essentially fine, Remus washes his hair.

Remus turns off the shower and guides Sirius back out. He leads him, still wet, to his bedroom and uses a charm to dry Sirius off before dressing him and putting him to bed. He sits by the bed in damp pyjama bottoms until Sirius is asleep.

Remus stands up slowly and goes to clean up the bathroom. He may need to incinerate those clothes.

  
5

It's four o'clock in the morning. Remus is still awake. He's been awake for hours, wondering where Sirius is. He can't stop thinking about that night, six months ago, when Sirius came home covered in blood. At the time, Remus was so caught up making sure that Sirius was okay that he never asked what happened. He curses that stupid rule about not telling other people about Order missions unless they are directly involved. Remus wishes he had asked.

It's too late to ask now. Much too late. Sirius will be angry or evasive or both. He'll know what Remus is thinking. How can he not think about it? At the Order meeting three weeks ago Dumbledore had informed them that there was a spy in their midst. Voldemort and his Death-Eaters were anticipating their movements. Someone had to be playing both sides.

And six months ago Sirius had come home in the middle of the night covered in blood.

  
6

Remus is woken by the sound of his front door closing. The bed next to him is still warm, as though someone was there beside him not long ago. Half-asleep, he wonders where Sirius would be going at this time. As he wakes up a little more he is struck by the realisation that it was not Sirius sneaking out. Sirius hasn't shared his bed for five years. Sirius has been in Azkaban for five years.

He is struck once again by that sick feeling that his best friend, the man he shared his bed and his home with was a murderer and a spy. He feels the bile rising and makes his way to the bathroom to vomit. He sits alone on the bathroom floor, head spinning and wishing he hadn't had so much to drink last night. Wondering whether it's a good or a bad thing that he's not entirely sure who he brought home with him. He feels faintly relieved that they crept out in the night. He hasn't the stomach for false smiles and breakfast and offers to call.

Despite everything, Remus wishes it had been Sirius; sneaking in, not sneaking out. He feels sicker and guiltier still at this weakness.

  
7

Remus sits at his kitchen table, watching the clock. It has been three days since Dumbledore asked him to take Sirius in for a while. And today is the day. It's strange to think that once again the two of them will be under the same roof. All of that seems like a lifetime ago. Something that happened to someone else and far away. The Sirius he saw in the shack was older, desperate, _fragile_. The Remus who looks back at him from the mirror is older too. They both bear more scars, seen and unseen. They are not the same as they were fifteen years ago and Remus knows that things will be different. It surprises him that he should be scared of something so inevitable. It is almost funny.

Remus watches the hands on the clock. It is almost four a.m. He takes another sip of his lukewarm tea. There is a scratching at the door. He goes to it, slowly, in trepidation. He opens the door and is almost bowled over by a scruffy black dog. Remus smiles.

"I think you need a bath," he says wryly.

The dog transforms (a process Remus remembers well) into a dishevelled but smiling man. Sirius pulls Remus into a fierce hug and Remus thinks that maybe things will be alright.


End file.
